Catherine Corley - Where I Have Been

Hello to all my friends!  I haven't written lately because I have been pretty empty.  I have had a lot of words in my mind and in my heart, but have had trouble expressing them in a blogging format or sometimes even just outloud.  But not today!  Today my heart is filled with joy and peace!

So, here it goes.  I was diagnosed with a tumor on my ovary on December 21.  I was shocked and discouraged to find this out.  It was found simply by accident, although with God, there are no accidents.  It was discovered in a sonogram I had for another diagnostic purpose.  There it was!  In plain view to the radiologist and then my doctor.  

A life changing moment.  I was so shocked when the doctor called.  I didn't know how to believe it.  I found out in one short phone call that this tumor, which is bigger than a walnut, is changing my life. In just a short moment, I found out I would be having a radical hysterectomy as soon as possible and that I would be thrown into instant menopause.  Me?  Really?  I was in shock.  How could things change so quickly?  I will see the surgical oncologist in two days.

My first reaction was disbelief.  I couldn't believe it.  Then I went into a couple of days of non-stop crying and panic attacks.  Then I started learning the facts.  That's when "CATHY" showed up again.  I was shocked to learn that 15,000 American women die of ovarian cancer ever year.  That's just in America!  Mostly, they die because there aren't regular tests performed to check for ovarian cancer and by the time there are symptoms, it is often too late.  I don't have any of the usual symptoms, most of which are more gastrointestinal in nature, so you would never believe they are related to an ovary.  There really should be more screening for this disease, but I will get on that "soap box" another day.

I have struggled through the last week.  For 90% of each day, I'm on fire for the cause.  I would be the national spokesperson for ovarian cancer awareness if they would have me.  The other 10% of the day, I feel sorry for myself and I cry and I panic and I pace and...guess what...I eat!  Yep, I'm always going to be a chubby girl on the inside.  I'm afraid to workout.  What if I hurt myself?  Crazy thoughts and crazy feelings...10% of the day.  

But God brings me through each day.  He holds me when I feel alone.  He sends people into my life to comfort me before I know I need to be comforted.  Yesterday, I saw so many old and new friends at church.  A few old friends from my childhood were visiting.  Many new friends were there as well.  Then there are my regular friends who have been there with me all along.  I am so blessed.  Each week I am surrounded by people I love and I get more than my share of hugs, even when nothing is "wrong" with me!

Yesterday, one of the visiting friends was a "girl" I've known since I was 12.  She is a lovely and vibrant person who now lives in California.  I hadn't had the privilege of speaking with her in a long time.  She embraced me with a warmth most humans rarely feel.  She prayed for me with a group of friends, holding hands with me and around me.  I wish I had it on my iPad so I could listen to that prayer of encouragement and hope over and over again.  She changed my life...in that single moment.

I have hope and I have strength.  At first, I was embarrassed to tell people that I had an ovarian tumor and needed a radical hysterectomy.  What would people think?  That was very short lived.  Now, it is empowering.  If one woman gets checked because of this girl, my pain will not be in vain.

The words of one of my favorite songs come to mind, I'm Trading My Sorrows:

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the course for His promise will endure
His joy's gonna be my strength.

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning.

Hey, I'm not ashamed.  I'm not destroyed.  I'm empowered and I'm protected and most of all, I am loved.  Joy will come!  I'm counting on it.  He's promised it to me!

Take care and be in good health!  

Catherine Corley - Extra Love for the Single Parents

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)  

Many of you know that I was a single mom for many years.  My husband left when my kids were ten and eight.  I was very blessed because I bought the house next door to my adoring parents, but life was really difficult.  It meant a lot of changes.  I had been working part-time so I could be home with the kids, so I had to change my hours to more than full-time.  In addition, he left December 1 which meant Christmas time, so I didn't know how I was going to handle that.  Also, I had just taken my children out of the inadequate elementary school and was "temporarily" homeschooling them until the next year started and they could go to private school.  Well, everything changed with the words, "I don't want to be married to you anymore!"

I'm writing this blog at this time of year because I see so many of my friends going through tough times as single parents.  One in particular has had me praying very hard for her lately.  I feel compelled to pray for her at my every thought of her.  One of her sons is grown but she is still raising a teenager on her own.  All you folks who aren't single parents, don't believe for a second that it gets easier as the kids get older!  New ages, new challenges!  Don't even get me started about being a single parent with a kid and a learner's permit!  I still have nightmares where I try to use the invisible brake!  

This time of year can be especially hard on working single parents.  There is guilt because they aren't home enough.  Guilt they don't have enough money to spend (especially if the other parent does).  Guilt that they can't be home baking cookies and spreading decorations around the house in a fa la la la la festive way.  No, most of them are working long days, doing too many chores alone, shopping for gifts AND groceries at odd hours, and some are working night shifts and attempting to sleep during the day.

If you know a single parent, reach out to them today.  Find out if there is something you can do to help.  A gift is always nice, but there are other ways to help too.  Bake their Christmas cookies for them.  Offer to shop.  Keep their children while they go Christmas shopping so they won't have to do what I did with mine--I don't know how many times my kids fell for the old "ooh, we should get this for the Toys for Tots campaign" when I was actually buying their gifts with them in the cart.  My kids now think that trick was inspired and hard to believe they fell for it so many times.

Reach out to a single parent and show them some love and caring, especially if they don't have a strong support system.  We all need extra love and caring this time of year.  It's overwhelming!  But when you are a single parent, it can feel like you are drowning in quick sand.  

Some of the most amazing parents I know are single parents.  They have to be both parents; wipe away tears and heartbreak by themselves (some even caused by the other parent); do all the disciplining; and they have to work twice as hard to make things right.  They deserve special medals, you know!  I think "Super Parents" sounds much better than "Single Parents!"  For most of them, the "single" wasn't their choice!

By the way, my kids never did get to go to that private school.  I ended up homeschooling them for the rest of their education.  Their father and I became good friends and, although I did ALL the work, he provided for us (above the standard child support) and we all four engaged in a family night every week so we wouldn't have any awkwardness.  We spent the holidays together too, including his family and mine at our house on Christmas morning so our kids weren't shuffled back and forth.  It took some work, but it worked for us.  I'm thankful we were able to shrug off the tremendous hurt to be a family for our kids.  Not everyone can do that, I was blessed we could.  

The verses that helped me through those difficult years were 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV) "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for YOU."

Bless a Super Parent today!

Catherine Corley - Lavished With Wisdom and Understanding

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace, that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."  Ephesians 1:7-8 (NIV)  

These two short verses give us so many promises from God.  Let's pretend we are back in school and take each part of this verse and analyze it with the help of the Holy Spirit.

First, we have redemption through His blood.  That is just glorious!  Redemption, the deliverance from sin; salvation; atonement for guilt.  Then, we have the forgiveness of sins.  He doesn't just deliver us from our sins, but He forgives them, removes them from us as far as the east is from the west and forgets them!  

So He died to deliver us from our sins, forgive us of our sins and, then, through the riches of God's grace (the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God), He has lavished us with all wisdom and understanding.

I love that word "lavished."  Lavish means "to extend or give in great amounts or without limit."  Can you imagine?  Through the riches of His amazing grace, the God of the Universe gives to us, in great amounts AND without limit, all wisdom and understanding!

James 1:5-6 (NIV) says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave in the sea, blown and tossed by wind." 

I don't know about you, but I have asked, begged and pleaded for wisdom and understanding and I know He gives it to me, in the amount I can handle, in spite of my tired brain.  Every morning I ask for clarity.  I want to learn every day more and more about Him and what He expects from me and desires for me.  

I dissect verses every morning and look up words in the dictionary, even if I know what they mean.  Sometimes, when you have the verse written out and have all the meanings of various key words written out with them, it can overwhelm your heart with joy and, best of all, wisdom and understanding.

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O Lord, grant us wisdom and understanding today so we may learn more about You and how to serve You better.  Please keep our eyes open to Your spiritual truths.  Give us opportunities to serve You, even in small, unexpected ways, as we go about our day.  In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Catherine Corley - Endurance With Joy

"[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, to exercise every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy."  Colossians 1:11 (Amplified)

A couple of days ago, I received some distressing news from my doctor.  I have to wait until December 17 to even have the test done to confirm or disprove the speculations about my health and then wait several more days for an answer and/or analysis.  

As usual, the Lord sent me the right verse on the right day.  It happens all the time!  I read Colossians 1:11 in every version of the Bible I could and, although I usually prefer the NIV translation, in this instance, I am claiming my verse in the Amplified translation because it is a BIG problem and I need an AMPLIFIED answer while I wait!  

So I am going to dissect my verse, as I usually do, and look up definitions, as I usually do, only this time with you.  Don't blame me, blame my mother.  She was an editor and we used to dissect sentences, conjugate verbs and discuss grammar and usage while driving in the car...didn't everybody?  You didn't?  Oh, but I learned a lot from that amazing lady!  She wouldn't have liked some of the incomplete sentences to follow, but she would have understood the point I am trying to make.

Let's break it down, shall we?  

We pray that you may be invigorated--filled with life and energy.  That sounds good!  I especially like feeling energetic.

We pray that you may be strengthened--of great moral power, firmness and courage--with ALL power.  I could use that!  

According to the might of His glory--the physical strength or superior power to do or accomplish the splendor or bliss of Heaven.  Wow, that sounds awesome!  I can barely accomplish my daily to do list.  

To exercise every kind of endurance--the ability or strength to continue or last especially despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions.  How?  With every kind of patience--the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation or the like!  Hmmm....without complaint, loss of temper, irritation or the like...maybe I should write that on my hand!  Just a second...

With perseverance--steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc. especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.  With forbearance--refraining or abstaining from something; patient endurance, self-control.  Self-control?  I've been working on that one!  Maybe He is trying to tell me something!

Finally, here's the powerful ending--with joy!!!  Not with whining, complaining, and crying, but with joy!  Joy, the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something especially good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation!  It makes you want to smile, doesn't it?  

When we go through the rough times, we know God is in control.  We don't have to whine and complain (although I frequently do, I confess).  No, we can hold our heads high and rejoice!  We can feel joy even as we wait on a medical test or wait to find a job or wait for a problem of a loved one to be solved.  Anything!

Again, that gives me HOPE!  I love hope!  And I love writing with exclamation marks!

Have a blessed day and take care of your heart!

Simple Paths Forward - What It's All About

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Why did I start this blog today?  I have been thinking about starting a new blog for some time now, but today seemed the perfect day.  I have been handed more than I thought I could handle in the last week (over Thanksgiving week as a matter of fact) and I know today is the perfect day to begin a new path.  A new blog with a new attitude, to be more precise.

Sometimes I forget that I need to reach out and share in the midst of a crisis.  Other times, I think I don't shut my mouth for a second.  Lately, I think it has been a combination of both.  So my blog will be a way for me to truly express myself and I hope you will give me feedback and express yourselves as well.  We are all in this world together.

My life is pretty ordinary.  I live in a nice house in the suburbs.  I haven't worked outside the house since I quit my job at a large law firm to take care of my father for three years until he passed away in 2010.  I lost my mother to cancer ten years almost to the day before I lost my father.  

After my round-the-clock care giving days ended, I really didn't know what direction my life should take, so I didn't take any direction!  Most of my days were pretty ordinary.  My children are in their twenties and they don't need me very often, but they love me all the time and I love them!  Each day seemed pretty much the same, that is until I got an unexpected addition to our family.

No, not a new baby at 46 years of age.  But a lovely, caring adult cousin with special needs who was added to my family and my home.  Ruth is a 42-year-old who brought with her her own set of requirements and concerns.  She lives courageously with mild cerebral palsy, epilepsy and learning disabilities.  She also came to me complete with one of the nation's biggest health problems, morbid obesity.

Now that I have mentioned her "disabilities," let me tell you Ruth's "abilities!"  I will name just a few, because there is only so much space!  She is the bravest person I know.  She is also the brightest, cheeriest, warmest, kindest and best person I have ever met.  She has courage beyond measure and strength to do what others wouldn't even try.  I am blessed to be her cousin. 

Ruth also has the best memory of anyone I ever met.  She can listen to a CD and remember most of the words after the first time and sing along the next time in the car while I mess up all the words even though I've owned the CD for years!  She doesn't forget anything.  If you told Ruth to call you on such-and-such a date, say six months from now, to remind you to make a doctor's appointment, she would not only remember and call you, but more than likely, you would probably have forgotten the purpose of her call.  She is spectacular!

We now have new challenges that Ruth and I face together and individually.  For instance, I just finished my weight loss journey (if you can ever consider yourself "finished" since it is ongoing) and she has just begun hers.  

We spend our days together and look for ways we can help each other and people around us.  Ruth has the most giving heart I have ever seen.  She loves to help touch the lives of people.  I think she does that automatically just by being herself, but in addition, she looks for ways she can purposely touch people's lives and bless their hearts too.

I want this to be about paths.  Paths we all take whether we are prepared for them or not.  Sometimes those paths are so unfamiliar we don't know whether to sit down and cry or run like a maniac to find our way!  You may be a new parent.  Maybe you are part of the sandwich generation like I was--taking care of children and a parent or two.  Maybe you are an empty nester.  Maybe you, too, have a challenged child or adult family member.  Or perhaps you just need a little more sanity in your life, your home, your food habits, your job or your relationships.  

Let's get on the path and move forward simply together.