Catherine Corley - Get On Your Feet!

Hi there, friends!  Well, we are half way through the month of January already!  Did you make a resolution to lose weight?  Eat healthier?  Be healthier?  Exercise?  How's that working out for you?

Last year, I made those resolutions and I kept them.  Besides that whole tumor surgery thing, I think it went pretty well.  And, bonus, even that made me healthier!  My heart and blood pressure are already so much stronger!  So all things work together for good.

My problem is getting back into a full workout routine and avoiding junk food while I am recovering.  I started my workouts back up as soon as the doctor said I should.  Yay me!  That was hard and it took a little Vicodin to get through each of them, but I have done them.  The doctor's office said, sadly, most people don't even try.  I am also trying to avoid the temptation of junk food while I recuperate here at home.  It's been a week now.  I should be able to resume most normal activities like driving and leaving the house in the next couple of days.

This recuperation time has given me a slow-down time where I can really focus on goals and who I want to be in this new awesome stage in my life.  My list of things I want to accomplish this year and who I want to be is quite long at this point.  God has kept me on this planet yet again, so there must be a reason.  I thought maybe this Cat had used up her nine lives, but apparently not.

So what are you going to do today that is healthy, I ask you?  Did you make some resolutions, like I asked before?  Are you still trying?  It's amazing to me how, a place like Weight Watchers, will be so crowded the first week of January, but by the first week in February, for the most part only the hardcore people are still there.  My cousin, Ruth, and I belong to Weight Watchers and we have missed the month of January so far because of my surgery, but I am anxious to see who is there next time we go.  I wonder how many new faces will be sitting next to our familiar friends.

So if you are having trouble sticking to your goals, let's take them in baby steps.  Try just focusing on one day at a time or one meal at a time.  Try to get in your exercise every other day if you can't do it six days a week (with a day to rest).  Try eating healthier foods.  I am more than 50 pounds less than I was this time last year, but I hate hate hate vegetables.  I hate most salad dressings.  I forget to eat my fruits.  Ruth makes fun of me, but I would rather be hungry sometimes.  But this year, especially after what I have been through in the last couple of months, I am eating a rainbow of colored fruits and vegetables each day.  I am thanking God for the different nutrients found in those foods.  I also plan to start cooking more, now that I should have more energy, and I want the foods to be "clean" foods.  I have been reading everything I can on clean eating during this down time.

Since I have had this surgery, and one of my final obstacles is GONE, I plan to eat healthy foods 90% of the time and I plan to be on my feet!  Our bodies weren't made to be inactive.  They were made to move.  Set a timer if you are watching too much TV to remind yourself to get up and move around or do some crunches.  I hula hoop while watching TV (when I haven't just had major surgery).  I have a weighted hula hoop and I use it while I am emptying my DVR.  Exercise during commercials.  Be more active.  

Every time Ruth and I are faced with a huge challenge (like the day we had to cut up a fallen tree together), I ask her, "How do you eat an elephant?"  And she replies, "One bite at a time!"  So break down your goals into small goals that you can achieve and don't give up!  And, don't eat an elephant if you are trying to lose weight!  Smirk.

Be healthy, be strong and believe!

Cathy

Catherine Corley - A New Chapter in My Life

So here I am, with my feet up, recovering from my surgery I had Tuesday.  I am so thankful and so blessed beyond words that the tumor on my ovary was benign.  My other ovary was also affected, but appeared fine in the ultrasound.  I made it through the surgery with no problems and was able to come home that night.  Yesterday, was the first day of the rest of my life.  A new chapter begins.

At 46 years of age, I am now in instant menopause.  A taboo subject in my mother's era.  "The change" it was called.  Well, just like any illness, it needs to be discussed and it needs to be medically and nutritionally handled properly.

As I have mentioned, when I first found out I needed a radical hysterectomy, I was very vague on Facebook and among certain people.  I was embarrassed.  But that lasted a very short time.  Then the thought of ovarian cancer and the lack of knowledge and understanding about it kicked that embarrassment right out of this girl.  Now, I'm proud to be a survivor because everything that could have been "something" or become "something" has been removed.  I'm proud to be alive and I am whole.  I am completely whole!  Plus, I have just as much chance of seeing my grandchildren someday as most women do now.  This girl might be in instant menopause, but that just gives me more to figure out, more to write about and more to share publicly to raise awareness.

A few great things came out of this past month of my life.  First of all, I had no clue about ovarian cancer, just like most people.  Doctors tell you when to start having mammograms, when to have pap smears, what age you should have a colonoscopy, when men should be checked for prostate cancer, and young women are given injections against HPV, but no one I know has been told you should have your ovaries checked every so often.  So now I have knowledge that I can share with people about symptoms, which, if you Google ovarian cancer, you can find are mostly "digestive" in nature.  Who would think it was ovarian cancer?  Please read up on it!

Second of all, even though it is uncomfortable for men to discuss, one of my good friends who is a man, read the symptoms because of me and realized his wife had most of them and should be checked.  He asked her to make an appointment.  He thanked me and I cried.  If just one woman gets checked because of my honesty, everything I have gone through physically and emotionally will be worth it!  Please, again, read the symptoms and talk to your doctor.

Third of all, I have met and talked to some wonderful survivors.  Oh my goodness, what they have been through!  They are the strongest women I think I have ever met, even if just through computer chats.  I have read stories of brave women.  I have found out about friends who grew up without their mothers because their moms died of ovarian cancer when my friends were young girls.  I never knew!  Again, I don't know all the statistics, but I have read 15,000 American women die every year from this silent killer.

Fourth of all, I found out who my friends are!  Wow!  I have never felt such an outpouring of love and kindness and prayers in my entire life.  I tear up just thinking about the phone calls I have received.  The cards in the mail that have brightened my day.  Yes, people do still use snail mail.  I laugh at the amount of emails, texts and Facebook messages I have gotten.  Sometimes, with being on Vicodin right now, I can't keep up with them and respond fast enough...sometimes I get to read them the second time just like they are brand new because I've forgotten already!  I think I could hide my own Easter eggs too!  But if you don't think a few kind words make a difference, you are wrong.  Just a "like" on Facebook gives a sick person hope.  Hope that there is someone out there who thinks they are important and that their life and well being are necessary.

I have had one friend, Liz, who has been the first to respond to almost every update I have made on Facebook and to every blog I have written.  I can count on Liz (a friend from high school that I haven't seen in over 25 years) to be the first almost every single time.  Then she sends me encouraging emails to keep me going through the day.  Do you know how that makes a sick person feel?  Important!  Fantastic!  Loved!  Cared about!  She is just one example.

There are a million more paragraphs I could write.  I could write about my wonderful children being at the hospital and making me laugh and keeping me calm while my surgery was delayed.  I could tell you about the lovely lady who brought us two family-sized dinners last night so we would have real meals to eat this week.  They should last us several nights.  She even brought a dessert using my mother's recipe that she still has even though my mother passed away in 2000.  I don't even have the recipe.  I could write about the wonderful hospital staff who treated me so great.  I could write paragraph after paragraph about each of the people who have touched my life.  My friends at church who prayed for me on Sunday and Tuesday night.  Oh, I am so overwhelmed by all the people who cared and prayed.

But this really was about starting a new chapter.  Today, when I am not "under the influence" of Vicodin, I will be reading and studying about menopause and nutritional/fitness concerns during menopause.  It is much safer to be reading than operating heavy machinery, according to the bottle, I should avoid that!  So I have a lot of time on my hands.  No bulldozers for me today!

I proudly embrace instant onset menopause and I will learn everything I can about it.  I still want to become a personal trainer for people who really need it including the morbidly obese, people with special disabilities and now women moving through menopause.  I want to learn everything I can!  You know I will share.  Maybe start a separate blog so you "youngins" don't have to read it!  But someday you will wish you had!  Just sayin'.

I have a lot of things I want to start blogging about as I recover and move into this chapter.  I have a couple of blogs already, this being my primary one.  I really want to write about things I have gone through that some of you might be interested in or might have been through too.  If you have concerns or want me to share about something, please let me know.  I am an open book.  God has kept me on this planet over and over again, there must be a reason for it.

Thank you again to all those who have cared and prayed!  Please take care of yourselves.  Put your health closer to the top of your busy to do list and let's all make 2013 a wonderful, blessed year!

STRENGTH!

Catherine Corley - Strength for 2013

Hello to all my friends!  In my previous blog, several days ago, I spoke about Gratitude.  Gratitude was my word I chose in 2012 in accordance with a book I read by Debbie Macomber.

This year, I chose the word "Strength."  I didn't expect that to be my word, but life has handed me some changes I wasn't ready to handle.  I don't believe any of us are ready for a bunch of changes at once!  Even with my arsenal of emotional tools, the changes in the last several months have caught me off guard and feeling less than strong.

Of course, my most crushing blow is the fact that I have a tumor on my ovary and, only a few weeks after being diagnosed, I will be having surgery tomorrow afternoon.  As I have said before, I have come to terms with it, but no matter the outcome, I need strength.

I also need strength for everyday life, just like you do.  Our strength is what defines us.  If we crumble at every turn, we are really of no good to anyone especially ourselves.  I've had those days lately.  If we are too strong, we turn people away because we tend to shut down all our emotions.

So I am turning to the Lord today and everyday to give me the strength I need to get through this one day, tomorrow and the rest of the year.  Strength to make changes that I know I have to make.  Strength to find direction after this surgery is over and I am completely healed.  What do I want to do with the rest of this year?  I ask myself that all the time.  I have been in a holding pattern for so long.

According to the dictionary, one of the definitions of the word strength is "Something or someone that gives one strength or is a source of power or encouragement; sustenance."  I believe that my strength comes from above.  As I face this surgery and the outcome, I lean on the verses found in Romans 5:3-4 (NASB) "...but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  

To me, hope gives me strength.  Without hope, we have nothing.  

The word strength is also defined several other ways:  1) the quality or state of being strong; bodily or muscular power; vigor; 2) mental power, force or vigor; 3) moral power, firmness or courage.  

I like being strong physically.  I love working out and the empowerment I feel after doing push ups every morning or after going for a run.  I miss running and I can't wait to get back to it.  I want to yell like a Marine!  

I also like having mental strength, because I seem to lack that.  I used to be so ready for any task.  Nothing seemed too difficult to break down into pieces and handle as quickly as possible.  Running a law firm for more than a decade made me mentally strong!  

Moral strength feels victorious!  When our moral strength is less than we want it to be, we don't feel strong.  

The year 2013 started with an oncologist visit on January 2.  How will it continue for me?  Well, I think the Lord gave me the word "strength" because I am going to need it.  There are going to be a lot of changes in my life this year.  I already know that.  Some will be difficult, but mostly they will be great!  I will have opportunities I haven't had in years.  I look forward to facing each day with strength!  

I even bought a great bracelet with the word STRENGTH engraved in it.  I put it on my right wrist and every time I reach out whether for help, for food, for a handshake or for love, I will remember that I am strong and I have the strength of the Lord to renew me each day.  

Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I intend to grow as a person this year, so I can inspire others!  I have received so much love and comfort during the last month.  Thank you to all of you who have felt my pain along with me.  That love also gives me so much strength.

I also intend to be physically strong this year.  After my recovery, I hope to get certified as a fitness trainer and really help people who need weight loss assistance.  I also want to be mentally strong and write until I run out of words.  I am hoping this year, my writing will make a difference.  

I can't wait to write to you again.  In the meantime, be strong!  Be healthy!  Believe!

Love and strength,
Cathy

Catherine Corley - Where I Have Been

Hello to all my friends!  I haven't written lately because I have been pretty empty.  I have had a lot of words in my mind and in my heart, but have had trouble expressing them in a blogging format or sometimes even just outloud.  But not today!  Today my heart is filled with joy and peace!

So, here it goes.  I was diagnosed with a tumor on my ovary on December 21.  I was shocked and discouraged to find this out.  It was found simply by accident, although with God, there are no accidents.  It was discovered in a sonogram I had for another diagnostic purpose.  There it was!  In plain view to the radiologist and then my doctor.  

A life changing moment.  I was so shocked when the doctor called.  I didn't know how to believe it.  I found out in one short phone call that this tumor, which is bigger than a walnut, is changing my life. In just a short moment, I found out I would be having a radical hysterectomy as soon as possible and that I would be thrown into instant menopause.  Me?  Really?  I was in shock.  How could things change so quickly?  I will see the surgical oncologist in two days.

My first reaction was disbelief.  I couldn't believe it.  Then I went into a couple of days of non-stop crying and panic attacks.  Then I started learning the facts.  That's when "CATHY" showed up again.  I was shocked to learn that 15,000 American women die of ovarian cancer ever year.  That's just in America!  Mostly, they die because there aren't regular tests performed to check for ovarian cancer and by the time there are symptoms, it is often too late.  I don't have any of the usual symptoms, most of which are more gastrointestinal in nature, so you would never believe they are related to an ovary.  There really should be more screening for this disease, but I will get on that "soap box" another day.

I have struggled through the last week.  For 90% of each day, I'm on fire for the cause.  I would be the national spokesperson for ovarian cancer awareness if they would have me.  The other 10% of the day, I feel sorry for myself and I cry and I panic and I pace and...guess what...I eat!  Yep, I'm always going to be a chubby girl on the inside.  I'm afraid to workout.  What if I hurt myself?  Crazy thoughts and crazy feelings...10% of the day.  

But God brings me through each day.  He holds me when I feel alone.  He sends people into my life to comfort me before I know I need to be comforted.  Yesterday, I saw so many old and new friends at church.  A few old friends from my childhood were visiting.  Many new friends were there as well.  Then there are my regular friends who have been there with me all along.  I am so blessed.  Each week I am surrounded by people I love and I get more than my share of hugs, even when nothing is "wrong" with me!

Yesterday, one of the visiting friends was a "girl" I've known since I was 12.  She is a lovely and vibrant person who now lives in California.  I hadn't had the privilege of speaking with her in a long time.  She embraced me with a warmth most humans rarely feel.  She prayed for me with a group of friends, holding hands with me and around me.  I wish I had it on my iPad so I could listen to that prayer of encouragement and hope over and over again.  She changed my life...in that single moment.

I have hope and I have strength.  At first, I was embarrassed to tell people that I had an ovarian tumor and needed a radical hysterectomy.  What would people think?  That was very short lived.  Now, it is empowering.  If one woman gets checked because of this girl, my pain will not be in vain.

The words of one of my favorite songs come to mind, I'm Trading My Sorrows:

I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the course for His promise will endure
His joy's gonna be my strength.

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning.

Hey, I'm not ashamed.  I'm not destroyed.  I'm empowered and I'm protected and most of all, I am loved.  Joy will come!  I'm counting on it.  He's promised it to me!

Take care and be in good health!